In my life, I have been subject to a lot of bullying and generally people picking fights with me. I know now, in retrospect, that most of this was because of the reality mirror effect. Anyway, this has left me with the desire to have the ability to protect myself. Anyway, the last fight I was in (not that I fight often), I felt disabled: I couldn't move my arms, legs, I fell and I couldn't get back up. It was like I was paralyzed. Now I am starting to see the benefits of living a spiritual and peaceful life. It's less painful, and there's some brutal long term damage from fighting a lot... But I sometimes things happen and I would feel better knowing that I won't be paralyzed the next time someone decides to pick a fight with me. So I am sure that it is fear, but really my question is how do I stop being afraid? Or, if its not fear, what's my problem? Thanks a lot.
The best way to prevent these things is not to create them in the first place. Violence and anger is never an answer. You project your energy outward and it comes back at you in the form of what you see. So you need to calm your mind and spirit so that you do not attract these things. Perhaps that is the message you are getting when you become paralyzed in these situations, do not create it in the first place. Even when you are defending yourself and projecting violence outward you are creating karma that will eventually come back at you. The peaceful warrior is the way to go. This book is excellent and will help you: Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I would also recommend my Reality Creator I book.
The real warrior fights the battles within and never externalizes them. He knows that the struggle is inner and if a situation reaches a violent solution you have already lost. I would recommend meditation twice a week to calm the sprit and mind. You claim victory in the mind. These battles with others are just an external way to vent your own anger, frustration and fear. If you learn to conquer this anger, frustration, and fear on an inner level your reality will change and you will no longer create situations where violence is the result.
Start with meditation. If you must express yourself in some kind of physical way, perhaps consider some kung-fu classes to help burn away the excess energy you have, until the meditation calms the mind and spirit. The kung-fu may also help alleviate your sense of helplessness, but do not confuse the kung-fu art as a means to win physical battles. No amount of formal training will prevent you from being harmed in a physical confrontation. The only thing that prevents that is not creating it in the first place.